Leave it on the Rack

Be very wary of Hats.

They’ll abandon your crania, fly off like bats,

and will ruin your rep in Society.

With unquestionable insobriety

one may flop on your head

and pretend to be dead

then vamoose like a thief

and airmail itself back to the Baron Moncrieff

with you paying.

(Just saying.)

I’d not trust a hat if it paid me.

I’d not trust a hat if it laid me.

And many’s the hat that has.

It’s their sinister razzmatazz.

You’ve only to be its most casual friend

to insure an ignoble, unspeakable end.

Leave it on the rack.

Never look back.

.