He guards his
fantasies as if they were a big blue pet –
an undiscovered
species only slowly opening its secrecies
to him – an
azure animal he hides, to which he feeds
his private nights,
keeps out of sight not out of shame or fear
but in the prayer
that, unmolested and protected, what proceeds
between them might
exceed the limits of what everybody else
appears to
think is good enough. He wants the greater size,
the stranger
stuff – an essence of which no one he knew, knew –
a prize to which
he hadn’t gotten yet, but could. The thing
his big blue pet might let him know, and one day
would.
.
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