I think I'd like to say I was depressed today

I think I’d like to say I was depressed today –
like a child who conjures up a story for a play
and needs his characters to be as large as
street signs: “you be Happy, I be Sad, you be

Mommy, I be Dad.” Paint the thing primary Red
and splay it out into a backyard theater: later,
take the silly plot to bed and dream it into other
kinds of being, seeing: something loose, translucent,

more diffuse. But first I want to spread the simple
seeds: sprout them into basic needs and see
what breeds into complexity. Ingest disparity:
swallow fear, hilarity, belligerence: investigate

experience: what is it made of? Take a blade
to love, and fear, and cut them ‘til you tear them
into wriggling bits: what have you got? This hot
evolving mammal species which we evidently

represent appears to have to self-reflect, to
choose between, among a kick and genuflection
and varieties of ways to pull and push, deflect,
reject, repress, embrace. I think I’d like to say

I was depressed today: acquire a place from
which to dive into unfathomable space. Although
if I just counted motes of New York City floating
in the light, it probably would also be all right.


.