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Sadomasochistic
Poetic Prologue
O! Like a poet
in hot July,
packed into
a parka to fry,
crowing his
vocative O’s to try
to get at the essence of living a lie,
I’d have asked
the lowest fee
from whoever
required of me
that I take
his prose upon my knee
and pummel it
into poetry.
But I had readier
meat!
Alone I could
pull off that feat:
take my own
vocative O!
right after
it goes through its olio
of unfenced
syntactical sprawl,
then smack it
back into a crawl,
prefigure its
fate with a curse:
configure it
into fake verse,
nobly shaped
into quatrains.
Look closer,
you’ll see the chains:
below which
a pulse sometimes
betrays its
ache for rhymes.
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But
mostly why whatever I write these days must all
but
always be counted as pronouncement, not argument –
effusion,
not measured consideration – is because its form
is
a cry, a stream of clauses born of the vocative O!
This
form allows me not only to say what I apparently
want
to say, but not to care, as certain un-hinged humorists
(Gracie
Allen and Jonathan Winters their progenitors)
are
seen not at all to care about the consequences
(anyway
not all that much; you can't upset the cart
completely
and still be funny). Not that I'm after effect
for
the sake of it (exactly) – I do hold my truths to be self-
evident
– I may even have a priestly mission! – but
because
this whole business (a word I use a lot to stand
in for
'Everything': suggesting infinite self-interested
bureaucracy,
at least it's funnier) is an entertainment.
That's
where I shall always orbit the sun of Alan Watts.
I do
it because I feel like doing it. I love it. It’s a joy.
Like
a scream! Or a pleasant offhand dabble of a finger
in
the stream. Wouldn't that sort of disinhibition guarantee
incoherence,
chaos, entropy? Maybe if it also had a dose
of
hateful belligerence, though that would constrict not
disinhibit.
If it’s done because it thrills me unrestrictedly,
it
will free me to be clear; I’ll just maybe do it in unsuspected
ways.
To want to entertain is, or can be, to want to keep
myself
as central a part of this engagement I’m apparently
in as
I can (another truth I hold to be self-evident). I want
to be
as interested and delighted as I want everyone else
to
be! I think I find my greatest coherence in such a state.
Indeed
I can't imagine any other condition which could
induce
me to relish – as (sounding the vocative oh!)
I do –
lifting
a pen or a pencil or the other phenomenon we now
all
recall begins with “p-e-n”. Yup, that especially.
.
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