No dogma anymore – no fog pretending to be clarity. No disparity
pushed off, or parity embraced because it’s parity. No answers
either. On the whole, I take a breather every time I can.
I muddle through on several bases, all of them to do with pleasure,
dangerous and almost always with a man. Freud’s despotic
eros fighting with its weapons of catastrophe: the measure
of us below and above: aggression and love and finicky me!
Who would think that bumbling dyad up except for – nobody.
But if my mind remains as fully unknown and alive as I’m thankful
it seems to me today, not patently exile-able and throwable-away
as once I guess I thought it had to be, in sweaty throes of fighting
foes that perfectly excited and ignited me, enacting a defense
against a secretly erosive harsh belief in sin. A silly belief in sin.
(There may be sin, but it ain’t what I’m in.) I muddle through,
it’s true, when I do not subscribe to creeds: I’ve the chance
that way of finding all the best delicious secrets in my needs.
Then I become reliable, and viable – no longer as exile-able
as once I guess I must have thought I was. I can be Casey
at the bat who when he feels a cosmic buzz will always hit the ball
and always win the ball game: The Shames versus the Testicles.
Sins Against the Fuzz. I love that I’m inanity. Vanity? I call it sanity.